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Chapter 29 / Complete chapter

Recovering from Major Life Blows

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Chapter 29 editorial cartoon: Stuck on a level? You don't have to play alone. Enlarge illustration
Stuck on a level? You don't have to play alone.

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Editorial cartoon · Chapter 29Stuck on a level? You don't have to play alone.

Original illustration with Chinese lettering; the English dialogue is below. Humour is a reading aid, not evidence.

English dialogue
  • I'm not carrying this alone.
  • Let's work out the next step.

After a loved one passes, don’t stay alone for the first few days. Those with heart disease, high blood pressure, or diabetes should keep taking their medication. If you feel pressure or pain in the chest, call 120 right away.

In the first day after losing a loved one, the risk of a heart attack is about 21.1 times higher than normal, then it drops each day afterward. For pe…

Cost
There is no cost involved. Just avoid being alone during these days and keep taking your m…
Benefit
This conclusion comes from a study of 1,985 acute heart attack patients, comparing their h…

On the week you receive a cancer diagnosis, don’t go alone to pick up the results — postpone non‑treatment decisions

In the first week after receiving a cancer diagnosis, the risk of suicide is roughly 12.6 times higher than among people without a diagnosis, while th…

Cost
No cost at all. Simply arrange for someone to accompany you when you collect the results, …
Benefit
Data from Sweden’s national registers tracked over 6.07 million people (6,073,240 individu…

After losing a job, it’s important to set a regular sleep schedule, keep yibao (basic medical insurance) active, and plan job searches methodically — don’t just stay at home all day.

People who are unemployed have a roughly 60% higher chance of dying in the years that follow compared to those still employed. This effect is stronger…

Cost
There’s no expense involved. First, register as unemployed and apply for unemployment bene…
Benefit
Data from 42 studies involving over 20 million participants and 235 mortality risk estimat…

People who lose a loved one to suicide, accident, or homicide should seek professional help rather than trying to cope alone

Within five years after losing a spouse to suicide, men are about 80% more likely to develop a mental disorder compared to the general population, whi…

Cost
Calling 12356 is free of charge. Visiting a doctor and attending a psychological clinic co…
Benefit
A nationwide Danish registry tracked 6.7 million adults from 1980 to 2014, totaling over 1…

In the first six months after losing a spouse, assign one trusted person to oversee meals, sleep, medication for chronic conditions, and follow‑up appointments

Within the first six months after a spouse passes away, the risk of dying is roughly 40% higher than for people who haven’t lost a spouse. After six m…

Cost
No expense at all. Simply choose someone — a child, sibling, or friend — and ask them to v…
Benefit
Data from 15 studies that were registered beforehand and later tracked a total of 2,263,88…

For those without family or friends, replace “the person watching over you” with three simple things: a neighbor who can enter your home, a spot on the community outreach list, and emergency contacts saved on your phone.

When you have no relatives or friends, two things matter most: ensuring someone notices if something goes wrong, and making sure you eat and take medi…

Cost
No money is required. The hard part is mustering the courage to reach out — simply tell a …
Benefit
A total of 44,573 outpatients with a history or risk of atherosclerotic thrombosis were en…

After a parent passes away, tell the child the truth and support attending farewells

Children who lose a father or mother before age 18 have a mortality rate in early adulthood that is roughly 50% higher than those who have not experie…

Cost
There is no monetary cost. The difficulty lies in the fact that you yourself are grieving,…
Benefit
This data includes the entire populations born in Denmark from 1968 to 2008 and in Sweden …

Still stuck in grief after half a year, unable to move on — when to see a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist

Roughly 1 out of every 10 adults who lose a loved one gets stuck in prolonged grief: after more than six months they still miss the deceased so much t…

Cost
This includes registration fees and treatment costs. Treatment is delivered in sessions; o…
Benefit
Fourteen studies involving adults whose loved ones died of non‑violent causes and who had …

Don’t spend money on grief counseling right away — first check whether your grief is truly stuck (see the symptoms listed in item 8).

Offering psychological counseling to every bereaved person right after their loss yields little benefit at first, and over time those benefits disappe…

Cost
No cost at all; in fact, this approach saves you the expense of counseling.
Benefit
Data from 61 comparative studies confirm this pattern. General psychological intervention …

Don’t drop yibao or turn to alcohol after separating or divorcing

An analysis of 6.5 million people across 11 countries shows that separated or divorced individuals face a significantly higher risk of premature death…

Cost
Zero. Simply keep your yibao active and quit drinking. The hard part is resisting the urge…
Benefit
Data from 32 longitudinal studies involving over 6.5 million participants, 160,000 deaths,…

Call 12356 for general support, 12355 for minors and teens; for medical care, book a psychology clinic appointment

If you need someone to talk to, dial 12356 — this is the national mental health helpline, and it’s completely free. Minors and teenagers can call 1235…

Cost
No cost involved. Both hotlines are free to call. Psychology clinic visits are billed at s…
Benefit
A 2026 plan jointly issued by 25 government departments including the National Health Comm…

In the first three months after a tragedy, postpone any irreversible major decisions

After a major loss, defer costly, hard-to-reverse decisions rather than deciding immediately. In laboratory experiments, sadness made people accept 13…

Cost
There is no monetary cost — you simply delay decisions, which may cause you to miss certai…
Benefit
The aim is to avoid irreversible financial choices while distressed: selling a home, quitt…

Don’t treat death as a way to settle debts: life insurance won’t pay out for suicides within two years, workplace injuries won’t be recognized, and debts are still deducted from your estate first.

If you commit suicide within two years of buying a life insurance policy, the insurer won’t pay out any benefits — only the cash value of the policy i…

Cost
There is no expense involved; you just need to do the math.
Benefit
Article 44 of the Insurance Law governs contracts where death is the condition for payout.…

After experiencing severe trauma (car crash, assault, or disaster), do not rely on immediate one-off psychological debriefing; if nightmares, flashbacks, and hyperarousal persist beyond one month, seek trauma-focused psychotherapy from a psychiatric clinic

Following a catastrophic event, experiencing nightmares, distressing intrusive images, or being easily startled is very common during the initial week…

Cost
Clinic registration plus psychotherapy session fees (typically 8 to 12 weekly sessions). T…
Benefit
According to the National Health Commission Specifications for the Diagnosis and Treatment…