In the first three months after a tragedy, postpone any irreversible major decisions

After a major loss, defer costly, hard-to-reverse decisions rather than deciding immediately. In laboratory experiments, sadness made people accept 13%–34% less money to avoid waiting three months. The author sets a three-month pause for decisions exceeding a month's income or costly to reverse, and recommends discussing them first with someone without a financial stake.

There is no monetary cost — you simply delay decisions, which may cause you to miss certain opportunities. It can be hard to accept at the time, since opportunities often seem to vanish quickly.

The aim is to avoid irreversible financial choices while distressed: selling a home, quitting, investing a compensation lump sum, hasty remarriage or guaranteeing debt. Amounts can range from tens of thousands of yuan to a home's value, so the author rates the benefit moderate. Chinese official guidance identifies family crises, unemployment and leaving school as circumstances warranting psychological-crisis outreach. The US National Institute on Aging lists difficulty making decisions during grief and suggests postponing major life changes until feeling better if possible. Three randomized laboratory experiments induced sadness and compared money now with money after three months: sad participants accepted 13%–34% less to avoid waiting. This was experimentally induced sadness, not actual bereavement. A 2023 FTC warning described funeral-home impersonators demanding immediate extra payment under threat of canceling a funeral, and recommended resisting pressure because legitimate businesses give time to decide.

If a neutral person is unavailable, the original refers to the support line discussed in item 11; another option is to write down the decision and reread it after three days. B reflects the direction supported by official grief guidance and a randomized experiment, not a study directly comparing bereaved people's financial outcomes after postponement. NIA specifies waiting until feeling better, not three months. The three-month period and one-month-income threshold are the author's rules of thumb. Sections 17 and 6 cover scams; section 8 covers guarantees and IOUs. Some claims require prompt action rather than delay, including housing-provident-fund balances, social-insurance benefits and work-death benefits: see sections 25 and 19.

国家卫生健康委等 25 部门 (2026). 健全社会心理服务体系和危机干预机制实施方案（国卫医政发〔2026〕8 号）. https://www.gov.cn/zhengce/zhengceku/202604/content_7065035.htm；National Institute on Aging. Coping With Grief and Loss（「Postpone major decisions if possible」一段，页面 2026-01-26 更新）. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/grief-and-mourning/coping-grief-and-loss；Lerner JS, Li Y, Weber EU (2013). The financial costs of sadness. Psychological Science, 24(1), 72-79. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612450302；Puig A, Federal Trade Commission (2023-06-15). Imposters prey on families preparing for the funeral of a loved one. https://consumer.ftc.gov/consumer-alerts/2023/06/imposters-prey-families-preparing-funeral-loved-one