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Chapter 10 / Complete chapter

The Economics of Dating and Marriage

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Chapter 10 editorial cartoon: The relationship hasn't started. Your script already has a finale. Enlarge illustration
The relationship hasn't started. Your script already has a finale.

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Editorial cartoon · Chapter 10The relationship hasn't started. Your script already has a finale.

Original illustration with Chinese lettering; the English dialogue is below. Humour is a reading aid, not evidence.

English dialogue
  • What does that signal mean?
  • Try having a conversation.

Getting to know more people rather than fixating on just one: You can’t predict compatibility before meeting someone

Two speed-dating studies asked participants to fill out over 100 questionnaires about their preferences in a partner before any meetings took place. T…

Cost
No cost at all. Spend time getting to know several people instead of obsessing over just o…
Benefit
In both speed-dating studies, participants completed more than 100 self-report questionnai…

Judging whether someone is interested: focus on actions, not “signals” — who initiates, plans, and follows up

In one study, 52 pairs of strangers of opposite genders chatted for about 10 minutes, then tried to determine whether each other was flirting. The res…

Cost
This requires no money or much time. The real challenge is breaking old habits: stop tryin…
Benefit
Two studies examined how accurately people can recognize flirting. The first involved 52 u…

Whether a relationship is good or not depends mainly on how you feel within it, not on your partner’s attributes.

The best indicator of a healthy relationship is your own feelings toward it, not your partner’s qualifications. For instance, whether you perceive you…

Cost
There is no monetary cost, nor does it require much time. The real challenge lies in shift…
Benefit
A machine learning analysis of data from 29 laboratories and 43 longitudinal paired datase…

Long-distance relationships aren’t worse than local ones — the real challenge comes in the first three months after moving in together

Long-distance relationships actually tend to be more stable while the couple remains apart, since seeing each other infrequently allows each person to…

Cost
There are travel expenses to consider, plus the time spent traveling back and forth. Coupl…
Benefit
Two separate studies reach the same conclusion: long-distance relationships are generally …

Check registration statistics before listening to elders: what do “marriage rate” and “divorce rate” actually mean?

In 2024, 6.106 million couples got married nationwide, a 20.5% drop from the previous year. Meanwhile, 3.513 million divorces were finalized. The oft‑…

Cost
None. It takes just a few minutes to read the section on marriage registration in the annu…
Benefit
In 2024, 6.106 million marriages were legally registered, representing a 20.5% decrease fr…

Accounting for health benefits while adjusting for observational data

Over a given period, married people have a roughly 12% lower chance of dying compared to unmarried individuals, while those who have never married fac…

Cost
There is no cost in money or time. Just keep in mind that these figures reflect a lower mo…
Benefit
One meta-analysis of older adults pooled results from multiple studies, covering 53 compar…

Discussing labor division before marriage helps clarify unpaid work responsibilities

According to the 2024 National Time Use Survey, men spend an average of 1 hour and 52 minutes per day on unpaid activities such as housework and carin…

Cost
There is no monetary cost. Spend one or two hours before marriage to reach a clear agreeme…
Benefit
The 2024 National Time Use Survey tracks unpaid labor, which includes housework and family…

First check the default legal rules regarding money and property, then decide whether to make a written agreement

Without a written agreement, the law presumes that wages, bonuses, business profits, investment returns, inheritances, and gifts received after marria…

Cost
There is no cost involved. Simply read the relevant articles in the Civil Code regarding m…
Benefit
By default, all earnings from employment, business activities, intellectual property, as w…

Money borrowed by a spouse in a large amount — if you didn’t sign or later acknowledge it, it doesn’t automatically become your debt

Money borrowed by a spouse behind your back generally won’t become your joint debt, provided it clearly exceeds normal household expenses and you neit…

Cost
No cost at all. Never sign “joint borrower” or “guarantor” on your spouse’s loan agreement…
Benefit
Debt is considered a joint marital obligation in several situations: first, when both spou…

Obtaining a marriage certificate requires only an ID card and a signed declaration — no household register needed, no fees, and issuance is immediate.

Starting May 2025, getting a marriage certificate requires only two items: your ID card and a signed declaration stating that you have no spouse and s…

Cost
There are no fees involved. Both parties must be present in person. The entire process typ…
Benefit
The revised Marriage Registration Regulations, effective May 10, 2025, streamlined documen…

Undergoing a premarital medical exam: if a serious illness is present, it must be disclosed before marriage registration

If a person has a serious illness and fails to disclose it truthfully before marriage registration, the other spouse may petition a court to annul the…

Cost
In most regions, the exam is provided free of charge or at a reduced cost for eligible ind…
Benefit
The legal consequences of concealing such information are clearly defined. Current marriag…

Calculating the cost of walking away: Divorce by mutual agreement requires a 30-day cooling-off period, while divorce via litigation has strict legal prerequisites.

Divorce by mutual consent isn’t finalized the moment the paperwork is signed. Within 30 days of filing the application, either spouse may withdraw it.…

Cost
There is no monetary cost. However, it’s worth spending some time before marriage to consi…
Benefit
Under Article 1076 of the law, divorce by mutual agreement necessitates a written agreemen…

Make a separate tally for the benefits to your elders when they get married — don’t mix it with your own records.

The benefits your elders gain — peace of mind, social standing, and relief from marriage pressure — are very real. But they won’t automatically transl…

Cost
No cost at all. Just draw two columns on paper. One column lists the benefits that go to y…
Benefit
The benefits your elders receive are genuine. Yet they do not automatically become gains i…

Treating relationship quality as a health factor: focus on the issue, not the person — avoid insults and sarcasm

Couples with a good relationship tend to be healthier and have a lower risk of mortality. This link is relatively weak — comparable to how diet affect…

Cost
No cost at all. When arguing, stick to the current issue only; do not insult, mock, or bri…
Benefit
This conclusion comes from a meta-analysis of 126 studies involving over 72,000 participan…

Same-sex partners should prepare a power of attorney, a voluntary guardianship agreement, and a will while both are still lucid: legally, you are not considered close relatives, so without these documents you’ll have no right to sign on behalf of each other or to inherit anything.

Under the law, close relatives include spouses, parents, children, and siblings — partners do not qualify. If no paperwork is done beforehand, when on…

Cost
Notarizing a voluntary guardianship agreement and a will incurs fees that vary by region, …
Benefit
Article 1045 of the Civil Code lists close relatives as spouses, parents, children, siblin…

Don’t marry while hiding your sexual orientation, and don’t treat “marriage of convenience” as an easy shortcut: legally, it is a real marriage, and the only way out is divorce.

Marrying while concealing one’s sexual orientation is not legally invalid, nor can it be annulled; the only way to end it is through divorce. A “marri…

Cost
There is no financial cost. The hard part is resisting family pressure to stay married — t…
Benefit
Article 1051 of the Civil Code lists only three grounds on which a marriage can be declare…

When a relationship is stuck in endless arguments and silent treatment, couples therapy can help — waiting alone rarely does

Couples who attend therapy together tend to report significantly higher relationship satisfaction — roughly 70% experience noticeable improvement. In …

Cost
Couples therapy comes at a cost. Fees are charged per session and vary by location and cli…
Benefit
A 2020 meta-analysis examined 58 studies involving 2,092 couples. After completing therapy…

Even if you held a wedding ceremony and banquet, you must obtain a marriage registration certificate: Unregistered couples are not legally married, and you have no spousal inheritance rights if your partner passes away

Holding a wedding banquet without registering does not establish a legal marriage; legally, it is classified merely as cohabitation. If one partner di…

Cost
Zero monetary cost. Both partners simply visit the local marriage registry together, takin…
Benefit
Under Article 1049 of the Civil Code, "The marital relationship is established upon comple…

If a spouse makes large livestream tips or transfers funds to a third party outside marriage without consent: request division of marital property even without divorce, and sue the recipient to recover extramarital transfers

If your spouse uses marital property to lavishly tip livestreamers without your consent, you can petition the court to partition marital property with…

Cost
Litigation is required. Attorney fees must be paid out-of-pocket as they are not recoverab…
Benefit
Under the Civil Code, spouses enjoy equal rights to manage joint property. If one spouse c…

When divorcing with minor children, specify legal custody, monthly child support amounts, and detailed visitation schedules in the divorce agreement: specificity prevents subsequent litigation

Who the child lives with, how much support is paid monthly, and when the other parent visits can be mutually negotiated into the agreement. If you can…

Cost
Zero financial fee when incorporated into an uncontested divorce agreement. The real chall…
Benefit
The Civil Code stipulates that the amount and duration of child support and the method and…