Transfer betrothal gifts via payment with clear notes; keep chat records; money demanded under marriage can be reclaimed

Demanding money under the guise of marriage is illegal, and courts support claims for repayment. Repayment can be demanded in three cases: no marriage registration took place; registration occurred but no actual cohabitation followed; betrothal gifts were given before marriage, leaving the giver in financial hardship. If registration occurred and cohabitation did follow, repayment is generally not required. However, if cohabitation was brief and the gift amount was excessively high, courts will determine the repayment proportion based on how the money was used, presence of dowry, whether children were born, and any fault on either side. For couples who cohabited without registration, the same proportional rule applies (nationwide, effective February 2024). Therefore, always transfer betrothal gifts, wedding jewelry, and related payments via bank transfer with clear notes, and both parties must keep proper evidence.

No cost involved. Transfer betrothal gifts, wedding jewelry, and other related payments via bank transfer, clearly stating their purpose in the notes. For any verbal agreements, keep chat records or have family members present as witnesses.

Demanding money under the guise of marriage is strictly prohibited by law. If one party demands betrothal gifts under this pretext, the other party’s claim for repayment is legally supported. Courts will grant repayment in three specific scenarios: no marriage registration was completed; registration occurred but no actual cohabitation followed; betrothal gifts were given before marriage, leaving the giver in financial hardship. For couples who registered and cohabited, repayment is generally not required. Yet, if cohabitation was brief and the gift amount was excessively high, courts will calculate the repayment proportion based on actual usage of the funds, presence of dowry, whether children were born, and any fault on either side. The same proportional approach applies to couples who cohabited without registration (nationwide, effective February 2024).

Whether a betrothal gift amount is considered “excessively high” depends on the giver’s local per capita disposable income and family circumstances; there is no nationwide fixed threshold. The exact repayment amount is determined by judges on a case-by-case basis. This guideline applies equally to both givers and recipients of betrothal gifts; both parties must retain proper evidence.

全国人大 (2020). 民法典（第一千零四十二条）. https://www.spp.gov.cn/spp/fl/202006/t20200602_463888.shtml；最高人民法院 (2024). 关于审理涉彩礼纠纷案件适用法律若干问题的规定（法释〔2024〕1 号，第二、五、六条）. https://www.court.gov.cn/fabu/xiangqing/423442.html；最高人民法院 (2020). 关于适用《民法典》婚姻家庭编的解释（一）（法释〔2020〕22 号，第五条）. https://www.court.gov.cn/fabu/xiangqing/282071.html