Think carefully before and after making large gifts in romantic relationships or marriage

Once the money is transferred, you generally cannot get it back. A gift can only be revoked before it is officially registered under the recipient’s name. After that, revocation is only possible under three specific circumstances: the recipient seriously harms you or your close relatives; fails to fulfill their legal obligation to support you; or breaches any agreed terms of the gift contract. Therefore, decide early whether the payment is a loan or a gift.

No cost involved. Before sending a large sum of money, ask yourself: is it a loan or a gift? If it’s a loan, draft a written agreement and mark the transfer as “loan”. The hard part is actually bringing this up in conversation.

Before property rights are transferred, a gift can be withdrawn. This legal threshold is known as the “transfer of property rights”. Once the transfer is complete, only the three aforementioned situations allow for revocation. Small gifts or cash given on special occasions such as birthdays or holidays, as well as everyday expenses meant to strengthen emotional bonds, do not qualify as betrothal gifts and thus are not required to be returned upon a breakup (nationwide rule).

While it is commonly believed in legal practice that amounts such as “520” or “1314” indicate a gift, no official ruling from the Supreme People’s Court has been found in this section to confirm this as a definitive rule. Once a gift is notarized, it becomes far harder to retract. Ultimately, whether a transfer constitutes a loan or a gift depends on supporting evidence; a simple statement like “I’m lending you this money” in a chat record carries far more weight than any later disputes.

全国人大 (2020). 民法典（第六百五十八、六百六十三条）. https://www.spp.gov.cn/spp/fl/202006/t20200602_463888.shtml；最高人民法院 (2024). 关于审理涉彩礼纠纷案件适用法律若干问题的规定（法释〔2024〕1 号，第三条）. https://www.court.gov.cn/fabu/xiangqing/423442.html